Awakening to Authenticity through the Heart
by Melanie Halpert, CBP

 
On the infamous morning of September 11th 2001, I recall being utterly unable to stop myself from watching the surreal images of death and destruction streaming steadily from the television, the gruesome scenes being played over and over again by the media, hammering in and amplifying feelings of fear, rage, grief, helplessness, and despair. At the time I was 20 years old and, upon enduring several years of mysterious chronic symptoms which doctors could not seem to relieve, I had reached the pinnacle of that experience and was physically unable to get up from the couch to turn off the news. From my place on the couch, safe in my home, I could not fathom the suffering of those who perished or of those whom had lost loved ones. I realized I should be grateful to be alive and yet, although in the literal sense I was alive, in a metaphorical sense, the external planetary reality unfolding before my very eyes mirrored what I was experiencing within. In that moment, I knew that I could not go on living like this any longer, that there had to be another way.

Little did I know that this event was to swiftly herald in a new chapter of my personal journey and to mark the beginning of more than a decade of seeking and exploration. Unbeknownst to me, I was about to embark on a wild ride, taking me from one thing to the next in hopes to find answers to an exponentially growing list of questions. From Reiki to naturopathy to homeopathy, to yoga to drumming, to philosophy to psychology, to EFT to BodyTalk to Accunect, to astrology to numerology, to crystals to oracles, to sound healing to hypnosis... to Western to Eastern, to Inca to Maya, to Paganism to Shamanism, to New Age to Occult, to conspiracy theory and to quantum theory and to everything in between… that is where I went.

I eventually came to the realization that underpinning everything, underlying all of my life experiences, was a theme of profound dissatisfaction with the status quo, and that my entire quest was driven by the unyielding desire to express myself authentically, with transparency and integrity, in the ever-increasing insanity of this three-dimensional reality. It dawned on me that that there was a common denominator - that the episodes of escapism I had once pursued through fantasy and substance abuse, my chronic health challenges, and my years rooted in seeking and self-improvement were all linked; they were all coping mechanisms to deal with the colossal anxiety of having to conform to societal ideals which truly made me feel dead inside. I could not seem to accept that from the moment we're born we are funnelled down a path, powerfully pressured by society to get an education, to get a job, to find a spouse, to buy property and vehicles and lots of insurance, to have children, to save for retirement, to draw up a will and to plan for death. I was literally revolted to be handed the linear outline of a life defined by specific criteria to qualify as a productive, responsible, sane member of society.

If you think about it, our entire life we are conditioned to believe that we start at zero and must build, add, and acquire to be good enough, that we must always strive to be better, that there is always something to improve. We are conditioned to constantly look outside of ourselves for the perfect template, technique, modality, diet, image – completely hypnotized and driven by this all-pervasive, deep-seated belief that the focus is to BECOME rather than to BE.

Even from the standpoint of “Ascension” or “Awakening”, there is so much talk about aspiring to become “more than” human, to go “beyond 3D” and “beyond the Earth”, rather than living fully INTO our experience of humanness and into our relationship WITH the Earth, the bountiful planetary body supporting our journey. What if you could bust loose from the multitude of paradigms in all their assorted packages and fanfare, to strip it all down, and to know that you – with nothing added and nothing taken away - truly came here, onto this planet, into this body, with everything you need, with so much potential... and that the key lies in BEING YOU?!

The exciting and extraordinary fact is that right here, right now, in this very body and in this very lifetime, you are totally unique, you have your very own energetic signature, you are genius in your own way and your specific genius, without a shadow of a doubt, fits synergistically into the whole. Like cells are to the body, humans are to humanity - in working together, in combining our genius while embracing our uniqueness, we have the power to co-create in ways we have only dreamed of. It is time now to realize that the key to awakening truly lies in you BEING YOU, in shining your light, and in knowing that your light is worthy. It is not about fitting in – it is about standing OUT, it is about recognizing YOURSELF and recognizing OTHERS and celebrating the complementary nature of our uniqueness, and how, when we are embracing our uniqueness and shining our light, we fit together as a whole in a way that allows each of us to express ourselves joyously, organically and authentically.

Imagine that each of us is a lighthouse with a unique design and purpose, and that the light emitted from each of us has its own specific frequency, its own specific vibration. Consider now the possibility that it is BY this unique light that we may recognize each other, and through resonance, attract the ideal people, opportunities, and experiences to support us along our journey! For years we have been led to believe that we should want our light to blend in with everybody else’s, for it to look and feel the same. For years we have been led to believe that if our light is different that it is something to fear, something to feel ashamed or even guilty about. We have been led to mute, hide, filter, retract, even to despise and to reject our light, and in many cases have been encouraged to replace it with “better” light, “stronger” light, “purer” light from outside of ourselves... HOW ABSURD!!!

The truth, is that it is WHO YOU ARE that matters - not what you do or what you've achieved - you for BEING YOU! Now is the time to turn inside out, for each of us to shine our light outwards from within. It is time for us to empower ourselves, to be authentic, to live from the heart and to know that our light is worthy. The more we connect with our core through the heart, the more we connect with our authentic self and shine our unique light, the more we are visible to others with whom our energies resonate, which will in turn allow us to co-create a new, harmonious individual and collective experience of reality.

No matter where you find yourself in life right now, no matter how "spiritual" you believe you are or aren't, connecting with self is possible for everyone. There is no magic recipe, you don’t need a fancy technique, brainwave entrainment, or have to sit in lotus position for hours with a straight spine. In fact, I encourage you to experiment with ditching all the rules, rituals, and routines you've ever been taught and to simply feel into your SELF - with eyes open or closed - to feel into that intimate “ME” feeling that nobody but you knows, no matter how close. There is a certain feeling that is yours and yours alone. Find it. Embrace it. Get excited about it. Connect with the core of yourself beyond borders, beyond chakras, beyond any system or paradigm... re-discover your core, feel that energy and appreciate yourself as a unique part of the whole. As you get more comfortable connecting with your essence, you will start to embody it, and the natural emanation of your energies, the radiance of who you are, will begin to transform your life and the world around you, from the inside out.

Welcome to the first post of what I call "Melanie's Musings", another series that I've decided to launch alongside my Body Part Series and others to come. Anybody who knows me at all knows that I'm rather relentless when it comes to self-inquiry and that I'm always pondering something - so my intention with this series is to write about topics which have played a role in my own personal development and which friends, clients, and colleagues have enjoyed discussing with me over time. Just like my Body Part Series, I plan to elaborate somewhat on the chosen theme and to leave you with questions for further reflection. While reading my musings it's possible that you may feel indifferent and bored or come across something that hits a nerve or stirs up your emotions. Whatever happens, that's perfectly okay - if stuff comes up, the only person you need to answer to is you. On that note, here's to putting a proverbial pen to paper about themes which I've explored along my own journey and which may be a potential asset to you on yours!

To kick off this series I wanted to broach the topic of COMPETITION. At first glance, the word itself seems pretty straightforward - for some it may resonate immediately as a significant theme, whereas for others it may not seem to play a role whatsoever. Either way, it is possible that our initial reaction does not tell the full story of how that theme truly impacts our life, our relationships, and our overall health.

To give you a little background about myself, I was never fully able to appreciate the role that competition has played in my life until recently. As a kid who was pretty lame at sports, a student who wasn't motivated to strive for excellence, an individual who was less than enthralled by the idea of joining the rat race, I'd say that on a conscious level, and due to my perception, competition was the furthest thing from my mind for the majority of time I've spent on this planet. It was only with my introduction to yoga in 1999 that the seeds for contemplation about competition were planted, and with my initiation to CrossFit in 2011 that those seeds began to blossom into something of substance.

Although for the most part, and in theory, yoga discourages competition, it's crazy how much it can bring up. It was with yoga that I first discovered the concept of "who you are on the mat says a lot about who you are off the mat", meaning that what goes through your mind and how you behave throughout your practice often translates pretty accurately to how you are in your daily life. Whereas the yoga experience had me exploring competition quietly and in a reverse psychology sort of way, CrossFit was the complete opposite. With CrossFit, despite hidden layers, the theme of competition is so loud and in your face that I finally felt I had free reign - so, in taking the concept of who you are on and off the mat into the context of my workouts over the past four and a half years, I've given myself permission to really explore what competition means to me in both straightforward and not so straightforward ways, to discover how I personally engage in competition overtly and covertly, and how it affects my various relationships and overall health. Competition can be black and white and yet have many shades of grey. It can be constructive and fair but it can also be destructive and deceitful. How you relate to the theme of competition, though possibly similar to others, will always be unique.

Thanks for stopping by, more musings to come!

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Common themes amongst the vertebrae include, but are not limited to: ABANDONMENT, REJECTION, PERFECTIONISM, INSECURITY, HUMILIATION, BETRAYAL, FRUSTRATION, SAVING OTHERS, FEELING/BEING BOUND (to or by someone or something). To be clear, I did not invent these themes myself - I discovered them over the course of my studies and, in practice, my clients and I have observed them to be quite accurate. When they do arise in session these themes are never approached from a place of judgment, but from a place of acknowledging the reality of our shared humanness as we ALL experience these themes to a certain extent. Some of us simply have a tendency to hold our mental/emotional/spiritual pain in our back more than others, others who may potentially hold theirs elsewhere. Although no one is immune to back pain, I've noticed a trend; very often, those who come to me for help with their back are the “superheroes” of society - police officers, firefighters, paramedics, teachers, conventional and alternative healthcare practitioners - those who serve the public and must always appear to be strong. Then there are the athletes under pressure, the parents and caregivers who put everybody else first, the bread-winners who provide all the financial support, not to mention those who feel stuck in an unhappy marriage or relationship but can’t seem to leave. Again, these are just a few examples. So while back pain may be triggered by physical activity such as lifting a heavy barbell, lugging kids around, massaging clients, patrolling in an emergency vehicle or sitting at a computer all day, if that pain is more than just fleeting, it is likely trying to tell you something relevant about your life beyond the context of the trigger itself.

Over the years, clients have approached me with neck and back issues of all kinds - from minor tension and stiffness to serious conditions, some of them even stemming from birth. While certain symptoms resolve themselves quickly and others show improvement over time, I have observed that either way, working with consciousness along with the physical brings about significant shifts in awareness which greatly support and encourage one’s growth and one's healing process on all levels.

If you or someone you know is experiencing pain or symptoms in the neck or back, here are some questions for further reflection:

• Do you have difficulty accepting an aspect of your reality or a situation in your life?
  
• Do you tend to “swallow” your feelings? (love, affection, fear, anger, etc.)
  
• Are you rigid in your mindset or beliefs, unable or unwilling to see different points of view?
  
• Are you in a position of providing support to others and often put their needs before your own?
  
• Do you feel stable in life (physically/mentally/emotionally/spiritually/financially)?
  
• Have you felt or been betrayed by someone important to you?
  
• Do you notice ways in which you are betraying or have betrayed yourself?
  
• Have you suffered trauma or abuse (physical/emotional/psychological/sexual)?
• Do you often find yourself frustrated in life?
• Do you feel trapped or powerless under the hold of someone or something?

Again, the questions I ask in these articles and the insight or answers that may arise are just for you, a personal exercise if ever it can be helpful. For anyone who is reading this and curious about my approach, while I do work successfully hand in hand with doctors, chiropractors, osteopaths, kinesiologists, and physiotherapists, l will never manipulate or crack parts of the body in my sessions as that is not my expertise. That said, I am able to work effectively in-person and via distance using safe and non-invasive techniques which address body, mind, and spirit.

To stay up to date with news and session promotions be sure to sign up for my newsletter using the button at the bottom of my home page or the Newsletter Signup tab on my Facebook!

Before I sign off, I just want to say that I sincerely appreciate all the enthusiasm and great feedback I've received thus far about my new blogging venture and hope that my articles continue to provide you with something of value. Thanks for stopping by and stay tuned for the next installment...!