Had I been writing this blog post by hand, there would literally be a mountain of crumpled paper filling up every room of my house from floor to ceiling. I must have started this over a zillion times, to no avail, and to my utter bewilderment. For a topic so precious to me, for a topic that seeks to be expressed through me so genuinely, I couldn’t understand how every time I’d go to write about it, it was as though I was mired in cement. Every time I would reread my words they seemed so sterile, so foreign and detached, when that is the absolute opposite of what this topic sparks in me and inspires me to discuss. While I’m far from being an expert and have no desire to get into labels, this is probably one of the topics I can write about most passionately, only because of the extent to which it has consciously affected my life ever since I can remember. So, I’ve decided to scrap everything I’d written to date and to start fresh, to write candidly from the heart and just let it flow. Whether or not the term “sacred contract” means anything to you at all, it doesn’t really matter, as my intention is to write about it in a way that will make it relatable and accessible to everyone. Below, I invite you to discover how I’ve worked with the concept in terms of my own personal growth, and how you can too.
In case you were wondering, the image I chose to use above is not something I downloaded off the internet. That image happens to be a photo of my own hand with two words written in stark black Sharpie, serving as a very loud and much-needed reminder several years ago, during an especially challenging phase of accelerated growth, where I was determined to see the bigger picture despite my inner struggle.
While I realize that not everyone is inclined to distill a great depth of meaning from their relationships and experiences, this is something that has always come naturally to me and has held much importance. For years now, my favourite adventure has been to try and see through as much as I can while living it, to grasp both the dynamics of a given relationship and to understand its significance from a broader perspective while being in it.
That said, over the course of a lifetime we are brought together with many people in a wide variety of contexts. Some of whom we are born into relationship with and some of whom we come into contact with over time. While some people seem to attract us intensely, others seem to repel us as equally intensely, and some seem to generate an indifferent or neutral response. While certain individuals remain in our lives for decades, others are only there in passing. Some relationships are sexual, some are not, and some can be rather ambiguous. Sometimes the longest relationships can seem less significant than the briefest of encounters, and sometimes the deepest of bonds are beyond the blood.
We all have so many relationships in life - perceived as both imposed and chosen - and whether we analyze them deeply or not, we are affected by them deeply nonetheless. If you look closely at the trajectory of your life, I guarantee you will start to see a pattern, a message, something that has repeated itself time and time again throughout specific relationships to try to get your attention.
Though sacred contracts exist in all shapes and forms, and while I believe everyone we encounter is important, it is those specific relationships and messengers I want to talk about today - the change agents, the ones who hit you like lightning, the ones who pull at your heartstrings in a way you can’t ignore; the ones who seem to show up out of nowhere, who blow up your radar, and who turn your world upside down for better or for worse.
Although in retrospect I look back at each of these contracts with nothing but awe and gratitude, as they unfolded in real-time it wasn’t always easy. In fact, much of the creativity these women inspired in me and a great many emotions they catalyzed targeted a deep anguish within. It took years for me to get beyond the surface of what was being triggered to see the greater pattern - but once I did, much of my anguish gave way to fascination, to the desire to connect the dots and crack the code.
The bottom line is that you are here to shine and others shine in your life to help you shine even brighter.
Though I use the word shine, it is important to note that even the actor who plays the most nefarious villain will shine in their role. I use the word shine in terms of excellence in performance, in terms of the convincing factor. We must shine in our roles, both wholly convincing and convinced, no matter what they entail, because on some level beyond this stage we have made agreements from a place of great love - agreements which we must keep until they are fulfilled. Though it may be challenging and seem relentless at times, it is inevitable that at one point, the curtains will go up and that the true nature of who we are to one another will be revealed. It is only at that point that we will understand the extent of the love that exists between us to play these roles for each other with such absolute devotion.
That said, we are in a place right now, individually and collectively, where the messages delivered by our sacred contracts have the potential to finally be heard, understood, and acted upon with greater clarity and intent than ever before. Should we choose to work with the wisdom of what these contracts bring to light, we will find resolution and deep healing aligned with our purpose and destiny. Speaking from personal experience, becoming aware and choosing to navigate these relationships consciously, with compassion and gratitude for self and other, is one of the most incredibly empowering, rewarding, and transformative experiences one can have.