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Melanie Halpert, CBP
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Melanie's Musings: Commitment

23/11/2015

1 Comment

 
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For weeks now I’ve been promising to get some new Body Part Series posts up on my blog, but every time I’d go to work on them, something would come up or I would find myself procrastinating bigtime, almost feeling as though I was being dragged somewhere against my will! I oscillated between making excuses and berating myself for being lazy, but I finally acknowledged that it's just not what’s inspiring me at the moment and not what I truly feel like writing about. The irony is that in early September I’d enthusiastically started writing a musing on a particular topic, which I’d then chucked to the side in favour of my other series - and yet this entire struggle has brought up so many more nuggets of insight about the very topic I’d been writing about all along... the topic of COMMITMENT. As everything happens for a reason and nothing is for nothing, it comes as no surprise that while this post has been simmering on the backburner, I've been shown how massively relevant this topic is in so many ways. From family, to friends, to clients, men and women alike, it seems that we are all being asked to examine our commitments as well as our beliefs about commitment itself, to get clear as to how these are serving us or not, and to take practical steps to align ourselves more fully with who we are right here, right now.

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​Just like the word RESPONSIBILITY, the word COMMITMENT is super charged and can feel so vastly different depending on one’s beliefs and experience. It can also feel different depending on the particular context or situation. Just as commitment can have a connotation of restriction, limitation, obligation or duty, it can also feel liberating, expansive, and fulfilling. Whether we like it or not, these days we’re finding ourselves in situations that require us to look at how we feel about our various commitments, and how we wield and distribute our precious energy and power. Although we typically tend to think of commitment in terms of "MY commitment to YOU" or "YOUR commitment to ME", commitment related to a significant other, a friendship, a group, project or idea, how often do we consider commitment to SELF and how our external commitments interface with our commitments to self? How often do we think about how our commitments to people or things either jive or conflict with our internal commitments and the way that we practice self-care? No doubt, society in general and our individual cultural backgrounds have influenced how we perceive and live out our commitments, often-times having placed so much importance on external commitment and generating so much guilt and fear, that we eventually find ourselves neglecting self in favour of these external commitments and allow our health, well-being, and even our sanity to be compromised. The time is now to start cutting through our conditioning, to tune in to the truth of our hearts, and to manage our commitments more efficiently in every way.

As always, I will leave you with some questions for further reflection if ever they can help you in your personal process:

What and whom are you committed to?

When you think about these commitments what does it bring up?

How committed are you to others versus to yourself?

How much value do you give to external commitment versus commitment to yourself?

Does a commitment to something or someone in your life require you to betray yourself?

Do you feel that someone’s commitment to you absolves you from keeping important commitments to yourself?

Are your commitments genuine or held in place by guilt and/or fear?

What happens when a commitment becomes abusive, unhealthy, or hurtful?

Is commitment something one needs to "tough out" at all costs or to reassess as needed?

What is the relationship between commitment and sacrifice? What are your beliefs? How does the relationship between the two and your beliefs about it affect your health and well-being?


Are your current internal and external commitments in alignment with who you are? Are they supportive of your personal growth and evolution? Do you feel loved, honoured, respected? Do they allow for you to love, honour, and respect yourself?
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If you or someone you know is struggling to get clarity about commitment or is looking for direction on their life path in these turbulent times, I am available for sessions locally in Montreal and via distance to anywhere worldwide. Contact me HERE for my availability or for further questions!
1 Comment
Carolyn Marn link
24/11/2015 05:43:01 pm

I read Elizabeth Gilbert's book, "Committed" a few months ago. It is a really interesting account of Marriage Paradigms around the world and how Liz struggled at times to come to terms with marrying again (out of necessity for her would-be husband to be able to stay in the USA) when she had vowed she wouldn't.

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    Melanie Halpert, CBP

    My clients are the focus of my practice - without them, I wouldn't have the privilege of doing what I enjoy doing most in life!


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