I've been feeling the pull lately to get back to my Body Part Series but just this past weekend, while in session with a client, a new Musing was sparked and it was sparked hard. This particular client had initially reached out to me for help with mysterious, skyrocketing blood pressure. As of her very first session, she experienced concrete results, and so we continued working together to further investigate and encourage healing within her body and mind on all levels.
What with the severity of her condition, my client had her own blood pressure monitor and was expected to take readings several times daily. Despite the significant positive shift in symptoms since working together, I noticed how tense she would get whenever she talked to me about taking her readings. Having brought her monitor in with her that day, I had the chance to witness the ritual live. As the cuff squeezed tightly around her bicep, she surveyed the fluctuating numbers with bated breath, her fear and apprehension tangible. In that moment, I truly saw how “plugged in” she was to the machine, how emotionally invested she was in its assessment, how her peace of mind and very identity was tied in to the numbers being generated by this piece of equipment!
Now, by no means am I dismissing the importance of adhering to the advice of one’s physician, nor am I critiquing the advantage of technology in the realm of Western Medicine - this observation simply led me to a massive revelation as to the many ways in which we, individually and collectively, are held hostage by numbers, how something so QUANTITATIVE and OBJECTIVE can become so QUALITATIVE and SUBJECTIVE - and in many cases, is given the power to control one’s state of well-being.
While I introduced this concept to you today with a story about my client’s blood pressure scenario, this could apply in so many other ways. What about:
- What the scale says?
- What size pants you wear?
- What size bra you wear?
- Your age?
- Your bank balance?
- Your salary?
- Your grades?
- Your ranking?
- Your client base?
- Your circle of friends?
- Your history of lovers?
- Your followers, likes, hits on social media and the web?
These are but a few examples, but examples which I'm sure many of you can relate to, and will agree can be quite triggering, whether consciously or subconsciously. Although the above questions yield NUMBERS as answers, what I'm getting at is:
How do these numbers affect the way YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF?
- How do you feel about yourself if you lose a bunch of weight?
- How do you feel about yourself if you gain a bunch of weight?
- How do you feel about yourself if you're flatass broke and win the lottery?
- How do you feel about yourself if you’re a billionaire who goes bankrupt?
- How do you feel about yourself if you’re an athlete who makes it to the next level of competition?
- How do you feel about yourself if you’re an athlete who gets cut?
Again, those are just a few examples to illustrate CONDITIONS OF WORTH based on NUMBERS
How you feel about the numbers you’re plugged into will reveal a lot about your rules and your "shoulds", where you struggle for control and for acceptance.
With the above examples in mind and staying open to whatever else may arise, I will leave you with further questions for reflection should you wish to explore:
- Which numbers in your life are you personally plugged into?
- Which numbers, consciously or subconsciously, hold you hostage?
- Which numbers affect your thought processes and emotional state?
- Which numbers affect your sense of security, self-worth, and self-esteem?
- Which numbers influence your perception as to whether you are:
These Musings, although inspired by whatever is making me think deeply in a given moment, are designed to ask the hard questions, and to get you, the reader, to think deeply along with me.
Thank you for reading my blog!